Partially full-ass ready for Heaven.....

Driving to my Dad's out in "God's Country" for the weekend always means the inevitable drive by of the sign that says, "Jesus is coming. Are you ready?" and I always have to torture myself with the answer. But Houston...I think I have it. First let me tell you I am never EVER ready for anything ....ever (did I say that?) in my life. For goodnessake I planned this trip for a whole week and still wasn't ready AND got a late start. Truth be told, nothing I do is ever really and truly done and most the time I am multitasking anyway. See post: Partially Full Ass. Take for instance every day before work you can probably find me in one given moment gulping down coffee, half dressed, sitting on the 'mode taking care of "morning business" while applying make-up with a hand held mirror, wet head, mentally planning what to pack in the little one's bag for the the day. And since our dear Lord seems to have a sense of humor this is the EXACT moment I will be "beamed" up to Heaven. Wearing only a bra with panties down to knees, not done with "the business", mascara on only one eye, dripping wet hair and a handful of sins I haven't yet acknowledge and asked forgiveness for. So am I ready for Jesus to come back? HA! Even if I was given a schedule of the exact moment of glory I would probably need an extra five minutes hoping everyone would go ahead and start without me while I quietly slipped in through the gates-everyone already standing in song...you know..... much like church on Sunday. Dear Lord...I apologise..............

I am like SO gone!........

Dude (and dudettes) I am like SO going to the country for the weekend. Sweet heavenly peace-here I come!

Maybe I can work on a few more of these while I am gone. They are just so cool! And Pretty. They are definitely pretty cool. (patting myself on the back for this one) (oh dammit caught a cramp)(ok patting my shoulder)


Have a great weekend everyone!

Feelin Good...Made a Sale...

Woohoo! I decided to put these pretty punkins together as one listing and made a sale! I'm feelin good right now so I'll post another funny toddler moment.

Me: Honey don't do that.

Toddler: (ignoring and continuing on)

Me: You're going to get hurt......

Toddler: (still "can't hear" me)

Me: First-Middle-Last (name) I said stop!

Toddler: (very frustrated look turns with a huff) Mommy don't say that! If you keep tewwing me no, I am going to have to stop!

At Least I Have Clean Underwear.......

Here lately when I wake up in the mornings I have absolutely no clue what day it is, or what happened the day before. It takes a little bit for me to shake the fog and figure out what's in store for me when I "wake up". I love when I find it's a day that I don't have to work and I have the whole day to myself and family to do whatever I choose. But most of the time, like five to six days out of seven, waking up means a bit of disappointment. Today is one of those days. It's a work day, I still have a slooo of bills to pay so I HAVE to go to work, and I will prolly have to dig through the laundry basket for clean underwear. Again. You know, since the clean laundry never much makes it from the dryer to the dressers and closet. hmmmm at least it's clean right? But as I awoke this morning I thought "wouldn't it be SO lovely to wake from this fog and find I had won the lottery the day before?" !!!!! Funny thing about that lottery though. You have to play to win. hhmmmpph. Anyhoo, I spose I will go take my shower now, dig through the basket, put on some clean underwear and take my freshly warshed butt to work so I can pay those bills. And while I am there I will hope that if I can't win the lottery , maybe AT LEAST I can make an ETSY sale. Here's the newest listing:


Halloween Wreath Framed Wall Hanging

Surrounded by punkinheads............

I was browsing through the local thrift store quite a while back and I found several things that I immediately had a vision for. Quite simply put they were to be punkin heads...... on a box. I brought them home and began working on them. But seems every time I sit my tookas down to do something crafty, a different kind of punkin head, full of "yeddow" curls and a big goofy smile, gets "all up in my koolaid" (I thank Jan for that cool saying) and I can no longer work/play. Now, I can be sitting quietly in the living room staring at the television and doing really nothing and he will go off and play and let me be, but let me sit in front of the computer or sit down at my crafty spot and here he comes justa swimming all up in my koolaid doing the backstroke and bellyflop. BUT alas, I finally finished one punkinhead....on a box. Hope you likie.

I Am Treasured!

I have been slow as molasses getting my etsy shop up and running, filled, maintenanced, advertised etc. so it's only fitting that my first item in a treasury be a Snail! HAHA! Check it out.Thank you ovenfriedbeads!

click here: SNAIL TREASURY

Inspirational Punkins..........

Resisting the urge to howl at the moon (see post below) I managed to add these lovelies to my etsy store. My first punkins of the season!

This is why I call myself an eclectic artist. I can't figure out what I want to do! I spose I just want to do it all! Art, Custom portraits, sewing, beading, birdhouse making, potpourri box decorating, gourd painting, wind chime constructing...ah yes. And it can all be found in one little shop. I'd like to end today's post with something a bit inspirational. I love this quote:

"Just don't give up on trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
– Ella Fitzgerald

Preach it Ms. Ella!

It's a Full Moon and I'm Feelin Freaky

I've been feelin a bit odd and out of sorts for several days now and I just couldn't figure why until I looked into the sky and saw a full moon, big and bright as can be. I am one of those people who get a bit freaky on a full moon. I'm not talking sprouting fur with humans for dinner and howling and such. I just feel as though my world is off and I can't quite get comfortable no matter what I do. Though as pretty as can be, I can't wait til this moon flickers out a bit. You add a full moon to my already pre-nervous breakdown state and it's not a pretty thing. I recently cursed to a customer at the "real job" who came in and cursed to me. He exclaimed "I talked with your customer service and they are giving me shit" to which I replied "well ok then what kind of SHIT are they giving you?" Bad business practice? Maybe not. I like to make my customers feel comfortable by speaking their language. Hey I speak da espanol too. And we wont even talk about the customer that stunk to high heaven so much that I-no joke- almost fainted. So I sprayed him with Lysol while telling him he was gonna have to leave. Hmmmph. I can blame it all on the moon right? And just yesterday I was reading a magazine article that said "Stress Makes You Stupid". Holy crap if that's correct then I am well on my way to being certifiably retarded."

WHAT in the free world am I thinking?

to be continued.......................



................................aaaaand continuing on, I recently answered an add for a local Nashville Indie Rock band who was in need of a design for their t-shirts. I thought hey why not I can do that! When I got an email back accepting my offer I just really thought I was "da sheeit". Turned out, after a bit emailing back and forth I discovered I was only a piece of "da sheeit". LOL. For you see, there were many MANY who responded to this request which makes sense (duh). I was asked to produce a quick, basic sketch of my idea(s). It freaked me out a bit knowing I would be somewhat competing against several other artists who more than likely would have actual computer graphic/photoshop experience. My kind of artwork is strictly old school. It's from the heart, from the mind, and all done by hand. Such things, for me, cannot be rushed. I knew good and well I was probably in over my head with all these "youngins" and their computer technology and fancy schoolin' and their super techno hearts and minds. But like a trooper I submitted a quick sketch anyway. Sharon, the lead singer, was so sweet when she wrote back explaining she showed my design to the band and they all decided upon another designer but she would keep my info for possible future designs. (I think I almost heard little "bless your heart" in there too-Thank you Sharon) So there you have it- "WHAT in the free world was I thinking?"


My Sketch
I would still like to take a moment to give Sharon and her band *KINK ADOR* a little plug on my little blog. They are a very cool Indie Rock band out of Nashville who have played with the Muzik Mafia who includes such artists as Big & Rich, Gretchen Wilson and John Anderson. Sharon describes the band as "a little 'left of center' kinda different kinda kinky, and in love with music". KINK ADOR!

Thank You Magic Doors!

So the toddler loves to go a'Kroger-ing with me since they have little people shopping carts. Makes him feel all growed up to be Mommy's big helper with his very own shopping cart. He exclaims to me "wook Mommy I'm fixin to be a big boy!" (this is country talk and yes even toddlers know it) and "wook at my muscles!" with such pride in wittle....er little eyes. So we finished at the check out, he's right behind me with his cart full of groceries and as we went through the first set of automatic doors a man was entering the store and my big-little guy shouts to him "Hey! How's it going?!" Probably meaning-look at what a big boy I am! I hear the man chuckle as he disappears into the store. Then as we went out the second doors there was no one for him to talk to so from behind me again I hear "Why, THANK YOU magic doors!"

Ozzie and Franklin

Ladies and gentlemen, as I promised in my previous post, I give you Ozzie and Franklin! They are my newest models for the Custom Pet Portrait listing on Etsy. These two, much like their "human" (DAVID!), gave me such a difficult time as I was trying to draw and create a serious, glamorous portrait and, no matter what I did, the goofballs kept trying to turn into cartoons! Well somehow we managed a compromise and I think they turned out fabulously. Don't you?

More toddler humor.........

WHY is it that my toddler chooses only certain lines from his kid movies to repeat? Here are a few:
From Ice Age-The Melt Down:

"Do we have to bring this crap? I'm sure there's crap where we are going!" (dung beetles)
"Borro is a demeaning name, technichally it's called a WILD ASS" (lovely coming from a tiny mouth)

From Surf's UP:

"He's a dirty trash can full of poop"
"I know he's around here somewhere, I can feel it in my nuggets" (chicken Joe)

And while I am at it I will share his favorite made-up poem:

"I love Mommy with all mine heart, even when she has to fart"
Hey he can rhyme. I's so proud.
Good stuff. Good stuff.

Let's go shopping!

I'm feelin the need to share some Etsy love and feature a few crafters. So here goes:

If you wander over to Wendiwinn's shop you will find the cutest little "Schooltimes" Mini Scrapbook perfect for your little one's first days of school. SO CUTE!

And speaking of school, almost every teacher and high school student wears a lanyard these days and the LanyardLady makes the most beautiful and stylish lanyards. My favorite is this Pumpkin lanyard.

And tis the season for pumpkins so head on over to LuluSandbar and you will find the cutest little Halloween Tin Pail . A must-have for a spooktackular Halloween season!

They're HERE! Custom Pet Portraits

Here is my first pet portrait offered on Etsy! This lovely Sheltie's name is Cody. Cody belongs to Candi of TheSilverMoon shop.

Check back to see portraits of David's friends Ozzi and Franklin.

And also Sherry's Merlin of Merlinsbarkproducts.

Tonight is a quick blog-I would just like to thank Wendiwinn for making a bow for my whisker. She writes:

"forget alchemy. i've taken care of it. http://wendiwinn.blogspot.com/ right hand column. scroll down.

keep going.

a bit more.

booyah!

or should i say bowyah!"

Now I can stylishly keep it out of my flippin way while crafting. THANKS! Much love to you Wendi.

If raindrops were gumdrops.....

I think I may have passed a little bit of my "make lemonade out of lemons" outlook on to my toddler. While we were sitting in the pouring rain up high in the bleachers of a high school football game waiting to catch a glimpse of my mighty oldest on the field, my wiggly little one, instead of complaining about the rain and not being able to move, happily raises his head to catch the raindrops on his tongue and it just tickled him pink. This weekend I plan to make lots of "lemonade". I was able to fershmoozle my way into taking Monday and Tuesday off and I plan to finish all my partially full ass projects! Woohoo!

He's full of crap and I have a whisker..........

A customer comes in today and asks me, "Have you been on some kind of medication?" I'm thinking crap, what do I look like? Is there a scowl on my face? Have I offended him in some way? So I brace myself and say "Well no. Why?" and he says "Because you just get more and more beautiful lately every time I come in here". Alright, I know he's full of crap, he's a regular customer, and regularly full of crap, but always good for a laugh. But this particular "line" he gave me today couldn't have come at a more perfect time because this week I have reeeeaaally been taking a close look at myself in the mirror. Literally. And let me tell you what I have found, thinning skin, the beginnings of wrinkles around my mouth and eyes, old lady neck and a whisker. A whisker I tell you! A WHISKER! What the crap? When did this happen? I recently tried my hand at face painting. I think I might just quit the real job so I can go around with my face painted and cover up all this crap that mother nature is so unfairly and unjustly throwing at me. I'm not ready!

Sofa acrobatics.......

It's been a long crap day at the "real" job today which left no time for crafting or doing anything exciting enough to blog about so I have decided to post a glimpse of our lives with a toddler who continues to crack us up on a daily basis. I really should write this stuff down every day. I could write a book. Or ten.

Toddler, thinking no one is looking, defiantly jumps off arm of sofa once again:

DAD: "Did you just jump off that sofa?!"

TODDLER: "No. I was uh .... fwy-ing. See my feadahs?"

DAD: "Are you supposed to do that?"

TODDLER: "Wew..um... yes. Cause dats what biwrds do!"

Partially full-ass.....

Another weekend gone. But it was a long one and it was a good one. I got a lot of resting done and had time for quite a bit of crafting. Nothing I can post in my Etsy store yet since everything is still only about half done. I seem to have this disorder where I begin a project only to come up with another brilliant idea that cannot wait and put one project down to start another. I think I might be the queen of unfinished projects. I recently heard something that not only cracked me up but described me to a "T" and personalised it would read, "I am Amber Dawn McNabb and I do not do things half-ass. I do things partially full-ass". LOL that's me.

Magical country nights...........

I am certainly enjoying my three day weekend. It could not have come at a better time. I have felt like I am going to burst lately and really "do not have the time for the nervous breakdown that I darn well deserve" -cant remember which movie that's from. My husband and I decided that we were badly in need of a date. After much pondering I decided I wasnt up for the usual dinner and movie type date so I opted to grab a quick supper and drive out to the country and just spend some time together on the quiet family farm and hopefully catch the sunset. No one lives out at the farm any more. Granny and Daddy Mac have long passed. But the land is still in the family and thank goodness it is. We picked up supper in a bag and headed in the direction of the most vibrant orange/pink sunset. The further away from the city we got, the better I felt. Driving on old country roads only wide enough for one car/truck at a time with the smell of honeysuckle in the air and little frogs hop-hopping across as fast as their little legs can propel them. Once we got to the farm we "went parkin" in our pick-up truck in the middle of a field with tall trees and hills on every side and a view of an old barn. We had a picnic supper and just enjoyed being together under the stars with fireflies all around us. It was somewhat magical and made me feel young again. Not that we are old but 16 years of marriage, one teenager and a toddler has the tendancy to suck the "young and frisky" right out of you! Anyhoo....it was a lovely night and I have one more day to enjoy and it is starting to feel like time is finally slowing down for me.