Partially full-ass ready for Heaven.....

Driving to my Dad's out in "God's Country" for the weekend always means the inevitable drive by of the sign that says, "Jesus is coming. Are you ready?" and I always have to torture myself with the answer. But Houston...I think I have it. First let me tell you I am never EVER ready for anything ....ever (did I say that?) in my life. For goodnessake I planned this trip for a whole week and still wasn't ready AND got a late start. Truth be told, nothing I do is ever really and truly done and most the time I am multitasking anyway. See post: Partially Full Ass. Take for instance every day before work you can probably find me in one given moment gulping down coffee, half dressed, sitting on the 'mode taking care of "morning business" while applying make-up with a hand held mirror, wet head, mentally planning what to pack in the little one's bag for the the day. And since our dear Lord seems to have a sense of humor this is the EXACT moment I will be "beamed" up to Heaven. Wearing only a bra with panties down to knees, not done with "the business", mascara on only one eye, dripping wet hair and a handful of sins I haven't yet acknowledge and asked forgiveness for. So am I ready for Jesus to come back? HA! Even if I was given a schedule of the exact moment of glory I would probably need an extra five minutes hoping everyone would go ahead and start without me while I quietly slipped in through the gates-everyone already standing in song...you know..... much like church on Sunday. Dear Lord...I apologise..............